What is Forgiveness?
written by ladybluewriter, April 2020
We look at others with good or bad intentions. Sometimes their actions
take their toll on us, but we must remember and take the word forgiveness
in a new light. God told us to forgive. So we think it is very simple, but I am sorry
in my life that I find it more involved than just saying it is ok. I will not hold
things against them. I will just forget it ever happened, but there is more than that.
God is very complex, and his words led me to think a little more about the meaning
of those words.
There were times that I felt like doing to others as they did to me but along with
those thoughts came a voice of thought that triggered my brain to think deeper.
Then, I am hearing words like: “Vengeance is mine saith the Lord”.
Suddenly, I am being faced with a new thought. He has asked us to forgive,
and he will handle the consequences. My mind said that our lives are very
complex. Consequently, the greatest though came forth to me. He not only
wants us to think forgiveness, but in my mind he wanted us to take the words
and go beyond. You cannot change the action that happened, but if we look at change,
then our actions must understand to make that happen for all involved.
Life brings challenges, and everyone is not born to the best of circumstances.
Humans are dealt sometimes harsh conditions for us to grow up in. Then,
poverty comes to parents that must reside on the street. Their children see the world
as a harsh circumstance. There are children that have gone beyond hardship and
fought the battle to make life better. Some have come together to fight the
street hardships like gangs, and no home. I see some that have become medical
doctors to help others. My hat would come off for these young people,
and I would salute their victory.
Food is not something that comes easy, and there is no warmth,
but from those that dish out a little hope and compassion.
The warmth of the heart is so powerful in giving one moment
of change to come forth. Drugs,drug dealers and addiction
happens in that environment and hope for some is not thought of..
However, the lives of some are ups and downs with drugs and
alcoholism for life’s toughest moments. Along with all that
comes forward is need of mental health. How many people would
see life in a normal way, when they are faced with this kind
of life. If you think we are not responsible to see they get help
then think again. We can all do our part to inspire,
listen and help others find their way.
The words seek and you will find also sticks out in my mind.
If we never seek reason, then how are we to forgive and teach.
Maybe it is the teacher in me that was directed by life’s travels.
Destiny has a way of entering into everything. I was born poor,
but rich of heart. A small child learns to make the best out of life,
when you are all alone with no siblings or friends to be there,
when you need them the most. I was blessed at ten years old with
a beautiful baby sister that I treasured like my own real live
baby doll. It changed not only my life, but a mother’s health had
to be dealt with at the same time. This was not the first time
that life brought forth this in my life to deal with. Others deal
with it too.
The military challenges my father brought into our lives gave me
more experiences than most. There was travel and definitely
challenges of being the child that was bullied by other children,
because I did not grow up with them, and I came from other
areas in life. If I spoke a different dialect than they did, dressed
different or had no friends, then you became the loner.
Sometimes, I was thought to be a tom -boy type character,
because the only friends were boys to play with or talk to. It would
have felt great to have been a normal child growing up in the same
community. It was simply not my destiny. The great spirit
provided me with many treasures, and those will go through the
eye of the needle. They are housed not in 3 dimension or
physical wealth but within my spirit and soul. For those treasures
I have been blessed beyond reason.
This is a journey I must take my readers on to find why we must
go beyond forgiveness. Forgiveness in my book does not
mean forget, but you must take it to the next level, and ask
yourself why must I go beyond letting an action go?
As a teacher, then I must think about what caused them to do
what they did. I found it to be the only way to understand them,
and whatever it took for me to do, then I had to completely
spend time to figure it out.
A long time ago, I adopted a child, and this child had many issues.
I found out that their birth parent never taught
them right or wrong. He was locked in closets by foster parents,
starved, and probably physically abused. He was one
of my husband’s own students that had been adopted and thrown away.
I could never see this. Why would anyone do this
to a small child. Sure he was a hyperactive child and had to be on Ritalin.
I felt like that was just an excuse to deal with him.
I can say things got worse before they ever got better in his life. I can
see by God’s teaching me that forgiveness is essential
to change a child’s life.
I remember the day that I had to take this little boy of 8 and a half
years old to a mental health program and let go for a
period of time to get him assessed. This was difficult, and I remember
sitting in the car crying, after I had done this in
order to get him help. He was called a troubled child. I chose to love
him no matter what, and the decisions and choices
I made were difficult. Forgiveness was ten-fold in order to understand
what it took to love a child like this. One day,
when he got past all the negatives he reached out to me. He told me that
he was taken to a hospital at 32 years old by an
ambulance. He was having a heart attack. The story of his experience at
that point was quite amazing for a troubled born
child. I prayed four years for his salvation, and I hoped that one day he
would come around and see the real meaning life
has to offer him.
At the hospital, a pastor was there by chance to see another patient. He
knew this was a person having a heart attack.
He walked in and asked my son, if he were saved. My son looked him in
the face and said —-no. The pastor asked him if he
wanted to be saved, and he said, yes. His heart stopped for close to five
minutes as the story got back to me. He said he saw them
working on his body, and he was in a room with bright lights above
looking down. They were trying to do CPR on his lifeless body.
My son watched as the doctors and nurses were working on trying
to revive him. He said he saw nothing but a bright light in a room
above his body, and then he heard a voice say to him, “son go back…
it is not your time”. This overwhelming life experience changed
his thinking and the way he chose to raise his daughters. He knew
he had heard the voice of God.
No longer did he live that uncaring life of lack of faith. He took himself
to a church, and He started to help others find the father.
So, if you think someone is lost in spirit, then all it took was four years
of my prayers to get him salvation from his life of change.
Yes, God through Jesus can forgive you, but you must learn to forgive
yourself and others too. Unless you can reach that place in
your mind where understanding comes forth, then you have only taken
in the easiest part of God’s mission for you.
This Easter we have lost so many around the world, and maybe he is
building his army to stand against all the evil forces.
He is coming folks, and this I know, but the hour and the time is his alone.
No one can know what or when he will come for
all the ones the love and believe. Make no mistake, this Coronavirus is a
chance for all of us to find that inner strong self we have inside.
Your children need you, health workers need you, and everyone is in need
of a lot of love at this time. The 13 people that died in my family
and all this past year has already opened my eyes to know he is getting
closer now to making that commitment
he made 2000 plus years ago.
At 40 years of age my Georgia son was struck by a train and
flipped 5 times. The train was doing 60 miles an hour. There was no signal
lights in the middle of town. That day a police officer came to my house and
said lady your son was killed by a train. I looked at him,
and I replied, “my son is in the back room. He is not dead. ” The officer said,
this is your Georgia son. I was speechless at that moment.
He died leaving two little girls, and he was a single dad. Georgia did not give
them up since their mother was still living in Georgia.
They went into foster care, and they were not cared for as they should have been.
We went to 27 hours of foster care classes to try to get them in
Oklahoma, but Georgia would still not give them up. The mother due to her
behaviors would not be able to get them back ever.
All I could do at that point was pray for the good Lord to watch over them.
For a little while they got to stay with me, but it was their father’s
heart problems that took them back to Georgia. One day they will know how
much their grandparents prayed for them to be all right.
That I will never stop doing.
The words that came from my son the day before he was killed by that train,
was mom I am not afraid of death. I knew he had found Jesus
and the father above. We talked about all the times I had saved his life from death,
and paramedics once told me he would have bled to death,
if I had not stopped the bleeding after he was struck by a truck and thrown 16 feet
into a mail box. At that time this little boy was 10 years old. He was
mowing grass that day, and he went to the ditch with the lawn mower, and the
18 wheeler truck was hauling a large Crane with stabilizer arms,
and the hydraulics failed and one of those arms flew out and struck his head.
It was 103 degrees outside, and another trucker knocked on my door.
He said, “your son has been struck by a truck.” I went running to where he was,
and I realized I had to go into action to save my son.
He had a gash in his head. He was bleeding. It took the ambulance that my
husband called 30 minutes to get to our house from the hospital.
The words of the paramedics was you saved your son, or he would have bled to death
before they could have gotten there. I had to almost
pull others off the street to come and hold a sheet over him to help
keep him from over-heating and going into shock.
I think he knew something was going to happen that instigated our discussion
the day before he died. All I can say is, when we have set
our course for changing our lives and finding the great spirit , then he is here
and will guide us through life’s journey. I know my son will
be by his side to fight the final battle, when Jesus comes back. He told me
that once, and I believe he will do just that. He would save to you
love your children, and love the father above. Easter never goes away in
my house. For where I go he will always be part of our lives.